Why NOT me?

I was thinking in the shower today (like the Microsoft ad, only a lot less handsome) that, if you make a pond and have ducks come to it for a year or two, then take the pond away, that the ducks will still come back to it. They remember that they had something good, and now don't. Then, that got me thinking, perhaps I was famous in a past life...

I mean, think about it. My life, relatively speaking, seems rather satisfying. I have a good job, a good girlfriend, a great family, and a roof over my head; yet, I'm not satisfied.

It seems to me that my entire problem is that I trap myself into things.

I get a job, I buy a house, then I'm trapped there because I (a) don't have the money to move, and (b) can't sell a house immediately. Then, I get another job, and do the same thing!

I wanted to travel, but what do I do? Get a dog. Not only one dog, but two. That makes travel nigh impossible.

I want to move. To leave the state, the country, whatever. So, naturally, I get a girlfriend (not one, but two in a row).

I want to have a good job, yet I just got one that gave me a huge pay cut, all the while trying to pay off debt from a college I shouldn't have gone to. (word to the wise - future teachers, I have two pieces of advice - 1. don't be a teacher, and 2. don't go to a private school. You'll pay off your loans when you retire)

The crazy thing is though, that the dogs, the girlfriend, the house - it all makes me happy. What doesn't make me happy is that I'm stuck here doing something that offers little recognition, less respect (just ask my students how they treat me) and even less money.

Do other people feel this way? Are there people out there my age that are stuck in jobs they don't necessarily want feeling like they need to be recognized for something? Do you think that it was because of the schools I attended or the friends I kept?

What I really don't understand about the way I'm doing things is that I seem to have moved on. I am no longer involved with my high school or college, didn't belong to any organizations, and now, have precious little to attach me to these places. I have a job, and am paying my loans, and am dating someone I didn't meet in high school.

By comparison, nearly all of my high school and college friends are living with or dating people that they met in school (while the g/f and I went to the same college, we didn't really know each other well...), are still IN school, or are working for their school or sorority/fraternity. These people seem to be relatively content. Is it just that we are from a generation of perpetual students?




Anyway. That being said, here is my Fat Tuesday resolution (don't question me!):

By the end of the year, I will have a novel finished and sent to at least one publisher. I will have completed a 100 mile bike ride, and will have paid off at least half of either my credit card or my citibank loan.

I have 318 days.