Why NOT me?

I was thinking in the shower today (like the Microsoft ad, only a lot less handsome) that, if you make a pond and have ducks come to it for a year or two, then take the pond away, that the ducks will still come back to it. They remember that they had something good, and now don't. Then, that got me thinking, perhaps I was famous in a past life...

I mean, think about it. My life, relatively speaking, seems rather satisfying. I have a good job, a good girlfriend, a great family, and a roof over my head; yet, I'm not satisfied.

It seems to me that my entire problem is that I trap myself into things.

I get a job, I buy a house, then I'm trapped there because I (a) don't have the money to move, and (b) can't sell a house immediately. Then, I get another job, and do the same thing!

I wanted to travel, but what do I do? Get a dog. Not only one dog, but two. That makes travel nigh impossible.

I want to move. To leave the state, the country, whatever. So, naturally, I get a girlfriend (not one, but two in a row).

I want to have a good job, yet I just got one that gave me a huge pay cut, all the while trying to pay off debt from a college I shouldn't have gone to. (word to the wise - future teachers, I have two pieces of advice - 1. don't be a teacher, and 2. don't go to a private school. You'll pay off your loans when you retire)

The crazy thing is though, that the dogs, the girlfriend, the house - it all makes me happy. What doesn't make me happy is that I'm stuck here doing something that offers little recognition, less respect (just ask my students how they treat me) and even less money.

Do other people feel this way? Are there people out there my age that are stuck in jobs they don't necessarily want feeling like they need to be recognized for something? Do you think that it was because of the schools I attended or the friends I kept?

What I really don't understand about the way I'm doing things is that I seem to have moved on. I am no longer involved with my high school or college, didn't belong to any organizations, and now, have precious little to attach me to these places. I have a job, and am paying my loans, and am dating someone I didn't meet in high school.

By comparison, nearly all of my high school and college friends are living with or dating people that they met in school (while the g/f and I went to the same college, we didn't really know each other well...), are still IN school, or are working for their school or sorority/fraternity. These people seem to be relatively content. Is it just that we are from a generation of perpetual students?




Anyway. That being said, here is my Fat Tuesday resolution (don't question me!):

By the end of the year, I will have a novel finished and sent to at least one publisher. I will have completed a 100 mile bike ride, and will have paid off at least half of either my credit card or my citibank loan.

I have 318 days.

Snow snow, go away!

Snow sucks. Just ask my seniors - after today, they're going to have to start bumping back graduation. Not sure WHY this sucks, as school will still be out way beforehand, but apparently it does. Went to Breakfast today at Jim Carey's (no, that's not spelled wrong) with the Phillips - kinda had a good time with the weird looks I got, and the thing does REALLY well in the snow. Now if I can find me some cyclocross tires to fit it, I"d be set. Got the dogs back from the vet today, and they're happy to be home. Fun stuff. Anyway, as I"m more or less snowbound, I"ve been cleaning kinda obsessively, and will continue to do so. Peace!

Don't ya just love a good freak out?

So today I freaked out on my students. Is that bad? 3 years into the profession and already I'm sick of their shit. I suppose that this is brought on by a post I saw on facebook last night. I saw that a student at my former school had a baby yesterday. Now, first, I didn't know that this was even going on. Second, it just saddens the hell out of me.

I guess it's just my Holden Caulfield lot in life, but it certainly seems that her entire life is now flushed down the toilet, and the sad thing is that she seems happy about it! I dunno. It's not my life, so who am I to judge? It really hit me tonight when my girlfriend and I were sitting at a restaurant next to a large family (i.e. the whole crew was there) that had two toddlers. They were passing around the kids and while two people would keep them occupied, the other people would wolf down a bunch of food, then take the kids so the others can wolf down their food.

Now, think about this. Having never had a kid, yet having had to take care of my cousins on occasion, I know about dirty diapers. I know about 3AM wake ups and round the clock feedings. I saw all this with my sister, with my cousins, and with my other relatives. I've seen people that, because they wanted to keep the kid have completely ruined their lives and to this day, at the age of 50+, are living destitute working a joe job at a Subway because they couldn't finish college and earn a decent fucking wage.

But I think this is a bigger thing than just one person having a kid. I guess it's a matter of not seeing something until it was too late. I'm going to lay it out on front street here for you kids (should you actually be paying attention to me).

I used to smoke. Before that, I could run 3 miles in a touch over 18 minutes. Now if I can run a mile at all, I'd be doing good.

A lot of my friends used to smoke.

I started smoking while working at a summer camp when I was 17. I still remember it was a bummed Camel Light.

A lot of my friends got tattoos and weird piercings and got drunk and slept with the asshole at that frat party. They regretted it. All of it.

I almost got my hand broken when my fat bitch girlfriend fell on it in the bounce house during the halloween party at Sigma Nu.

I played pranks on lots of people in high school.

I told off my boss.

I got drunk WITH my boss.

I made a mistake when I was 17 that I later wished I wouldn't have made.

I've done things that my parents don't know about (nor would probably WANT to know about).

I can relate while reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Catcher in the Rye.

I know that spaghetti chunks and screwdrivers can go at least 4 feet when puked into a mesh trash can from 6 feet up.

Friends of mine have gotten pregnant. Some have kept the kid, some adopted it out, others aborted, and all had (and still have, I'd guess) regrets.

I've lost people to suicide and cancer.

I've lost friends through the jealousy of others.

Long story short, I've been there. I've done that. I didn't do THAT, but really wished I had. I know what it's like because I've been there. So when I give advice, trust me that it comes from a place of love and understanding. It isn't stupid ol' McD telling you not to do this, or not to try that because he's part of "the establishment" or whatever, it's him seeing first hand what this stuff can do. And I know that all of this is going to fall on deaf ears (or eyes, I suppose), but the long and the short of it is this:

If your parents, teachers, older friends, grandparents or anyone else who might even have an inkling of what they're talking about tries to give you advice, before doing belly shots off of that Lambda Chi and passing out with your stiletto up your butt, at least take pause to THINK about what you're doing.

95% is the best?

We got the graduation numbers back for the area, and we were the highest at 94.6%. The lowest was a smidge over 74%. Seriously? If that school had 100 graduating seniors, fully ONE QUARTER would not have the credentials it would take to work a JOE job. *Sigh* High school seems to be the entrance exam for life anymore, and these kids, fully 10 years into the second millenium are missing out on their entire lives by doing this. Sure, they can get their GQE, but is a college going to take them? Hell no. And that's fine, ya know. You can be anything you want, but 90% of the time, you need to have at least vocational training, which these kids won't be able to get. Even to get into a voc school you need to have a high school diploma. You can't be a diesel mechanic, you can't be a cop, hell, you can't even be a fricking CONSERVATION OFFICER without graduating high school. I mean seriously? You drive around in a truck looking for people fishing, and you can't do it without high school. While I find that kinda absurd, I also can see that these kids must plan on flipping burgers for the rest of their lives.

When you have as much potential as I see these kids have, why not at least TRY to achieve the minimum? It boggles my mind.

On to happier stuff - I'm reading Orwell's 1984 with my creative writing class. It's really freaking them out. Today I put on the board the three tenants of the party:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
Under each of these I put news articles and quotes that really happened in today's media (well, for the past 10 years) that illustrates just how far the government would go to uphold the tenants of a dystopian society about which was written 62 years ago. My favorite is a quote from George Bush - "“I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're
really talking about peace.”

http://www.hud.gov/news/speeches/presremarks.cfm

Boggles the mind. Anyway, for more freak-outs, check out www.studentsfororwell.org It's informative...

I've also got contacts. That's right, after a 4 month hiatus we're back to looking like we're not visually impaired. sweeeet....

On the biking front, I biked to work for the first time of the year today - started the day at 30* and ended at 43*. Glorious (or, Glourious for you Tarantino fans). The roads were kinda sloppy, and as a result, the mudflaps got their workout. My shoes are still filthy. *Sigh* I also discovered that iced tea works well in water bottles. Huzzah!