Why NOT me?

I was thinking in the shower today (like the Microsoft ad, only a lot less handsome) that, if you make a pond and have ducks come to it for a year or two, then take the pond away, that the ducks will still come back to it. They remember that they had something good, and now don't. Then, that got me thinking, perhaps I was famous in a past life...

I mean, think about it. My life, relatively speaking, seems rather satisfying. I have a good job, a good girlfriend, a great family, and a roof over my head; yet, I'm not satisfied.

It seems to me that my entire problem is that I trap myself into things.

I get a job, I buy a house, then I'm trapped there because I (a) don't have the money to move, and (b) can't sell a house immediately. Then, I get another job, and do the same thing!

I wanted to travel, but what do I do? Get a dog. Not only one dog, but two. That makes travel nigh impossible.

I want to move. To leave the state, the country, whatever. So, naturally, I get a girlfriend (not one, but two in a row).

I want to have a good job, yet I just got one that gave me a huge pay cut, all the while trying to pay off debt from a college I shouldn't have gone to. (word to the wise - future teachers, I have two pieces of advice - 1. don't be a teacher, and 2. don't go to a private school. You'll pay off your loans when you retire)

The crazy thing is though, that the dogs, the girlfriend, the house - it all makes me happy. What doesn't make me happy is that I'm stuck here doing something that offers little recognition, less respect (just ask my students how they treat me) and even less money.

Do other people feel this way? Are there people out there my age that are stuck in jobs they don't necessarily want feeling like they need to be recognized for something? Do you think that it was because of the schools I attended or the friends I kept?

What I really don't understand about the way I'm doing things is that I seem to have moved on. I am no longer involved with my high school or college, didn't belong to any organizations, and now, have precious little to attach me to these places. I have a job, and am paying my loans, and am dating someone I didn't meet in high school.

By comparison, nearly all of my high school and college friends are living with or dating people that they met in school (while the g/f and I went to the same college, we didn't really know each other well...), are still IN school, or are working for their school or sorority/fraternity. These people seem to be relatively content. Is it just that we are from a generation of perpetual students?




Anyway. That being said, here is my Fat Tuesday resolution (don't question me!):

By the end of the year, I will have a novel finished and sent to at least one publisher. I will have completed a 100 mile bike ride, and will have paid off at least half of either my credit card or my citibank loan.

I have 318 days.

Snow snow, go away!

Snow sucks. Just ask my seniors - after today, they're going to have to start bumping back graduation. Not sure WHY this sucks, as school will still be out way beforehand, but apparently it does. Went to Breakfast today at Jim Carey's (no, that's not spelled wrong) with the Phillips - kinda had a good time with the weird looks I got, and the thing does REALLY well in the snow. Now if I can find me some cyclocross tires to fit it, I"d be set. Got the dogs back from the vet today, and they're happy to be home. Fun stuff. Anyway, as I"m more or less snowbound, I"ve been cleaning kinda obsessively, and will continue to do so. Peace!

Don't ya just love a good freak out?

So today I freaked out on my students. Is that bad? 3 years into the profession and already I'm sick of their shit. I suppose that this is brought on by a post I saw on facebook last night. I saw that a student at my former school had a baby yesterday. Now, first, I didn't know that this was even going on. Second, it just saddens the hell out of me.

I guess it's just my Holden Caulfield lot in life, but it certainly seems that her entire life is now flushed down the toilet, and the sad thing is that she seems happy about it! I dunno. It's not my life, so who am I to judge? It really hit me tonight when my girlfriend and I were sitting at a restaurant next to a large family (i.e. the whole crew was there) that had two toddlers. They were passing around the kids and while two people would keep them occupied, the other people would wolf down a bunch of food, then take the kids so the others can wolf down their food.

Now, think about this. Having never had a kid, yet having had to take care of my cousins on occasion, I know about dirty diapers. I know about 3AM wake ups and round the clock feedings. I saw all this with my sister, with my cousins, and with my other relatives. I've seen people that, because they wanted to keep the kid have completely ruined their lives and to this day, at the age of 50+, are living destitute working a joe job at a Subway because they couldn't finish college and earn a decent fucking wage.

But I think this is a bigger thing than just one person having a kid. I guess it's a matter of not seeing something until it was too late. I'm going to lay it out on front street here for you kids (should you actually be paying attention to me).

I used to smoke. Before that, I could run 3 miles in a touch over 18 minutes. Now if I can run a mile at all, I'd be doing good.

A lot of my friends used to smoke.

I started smoking while working at a summer camp when I was 17. I still remember it was a bummed Camel Light.

A lot of my friends got tattoos and weird piercings and got drunk and slept with the asshole at that frat party. They regretted it. All of it.

I almost got my hand broken when my fat bitch girlfriend fell on it in the bounce house during the halloween party at Sigma Nu.

I played pranks on lots of people in high school.

I told off my boss.

I got drunk WITH my boss.

I made a mistake when I was 17 that I later wished I wouldn't have made.

I've done things that my parents don't know about (nor would probably WANT to know about).

I can relate while reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The Catcher in the Rye.

I know that spaghetti chunks and screwdrivers can go at least 4 feet when puked into a mesh trash can from 6 feet up.

Friends of mine have gotten pregnant. Some have kept the kid, some adopted it out, others aborted, and all had (and still have, I'd guess) regrets.

I've lost people to suicide and cancer.

I've lost friends through the jealousy of others.

Long story short, I've been there. I've done that. I didn't do THAT, but really wished I had. I know what it's like because I've been there. So when I give advice, trust me that it comes from a place of love and understanding. It isn't stupid ol' McD telling you not to do this, or not to try that because he's part of "the establishment" or whatever, it's him seeing first hand what this stuff can do. And I know that all of this is going to fall on deaf ears (or eyes, I suppose), but the long and the short of it is this:

If your parents, teachers, older friends, grandparents or anyone else who might even have an inkling of what they're talking about tries to give you advice, before doing belly shots off of that Lambda Chi and passing out with your stiletto up your butt, at least take pause to THINK about what you're doing.

95% is the best?

We got the graduation numbers back for the area, and we were the highest at 94.6%. The lowest was a smidge over 74%. Seriously? If that school had 100 graduating seniors, fully ONE QUARTER would not have the credentials it would take to work a JOE job. *Sigh* High school seems to be the entrance exam for life anymore, and these kids, fully 10 years into the second millenium are missing out on their entire lives by doing this. Sure, they can get their GQE, but is a college going to take them? Hell no. And that's fine, ya know. You can be anything you want, but 90% of the time, you need to have at least vocational training, which these kids won't be able to get. Even to get into a voc school you need to have a high school diploma. You can't be a diesel mechanic, you can't be a cop, hell, you can't even be a fricking CONSERVATION OFFICER without graduating high school. I mean seriously? You drive around in a truck looking for people fishing, and you can't do it without high school. While I find that kinda absurd, I also can see that these kids must plan on flipping burgers for the rest of their lives.

When you have as much potential as I see these kids have, why not at least TRY to achieve the minimum? It boggles my mind.

On to happier stuff - I'm reading Orwell's 1984 with my creative writing class. It's really freaking them out. Today I put on the board the three tenants of the party:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
Under each of these I put news articles and quotes that really happened in today's media (well, for the past 10 years) that illustrates just how far the government would go to uphold the tenants of a dystopian society about which was written 62 years ago. My favorite is a quote from George Bush - "“I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're
really talking about peace.”

http://www.hud.gov/news/speeches/presremarks.cfm

Boggles the mind. Anyway, for more freak-outs, check out www.studentsfororwell.org It's informative...

I've also got contacts. That's right, after a 4 month hiatus we're back to looking like we're not visually impaired. sweeeet....

On the biking front, I biked to work for the first time of the year today - started the day at 30* and ended at 43*. Glorious (or, Glourious for you Tarantino fans). The roads were kinda sloppy, and as a result, the mudflaps got their workout. My shoes are still filthy. *Sigh* I also discovered that iced tea works well in water bottles. Huzzah!

Final Exam idiotics (like antics...but stupid)

So I'm reading my final exams, and I came across a few things.

First - were and where are NOT the same thing! "They where walking" is NOT a correct sentence!

Second - The and They are EXCLUSIVE! "the were walking" is ALSO not a sentence!

C - There = a place. Over There. They're = They Are. It's a contraction. Like It's. Their = possessive. It's their keys.

To sum up - you can use all of these things correctly by saying this:

THEY WERE walking THERE to find THEIR keys. THEY'RE perturbed by the loss.



To continue - IDK is not an acceptable answer.

When I say that you should answer in complete sentences, IT'S COMPLETE SENTENCES OR A FAILURE.

BC doesn't mean anything. Neither does bc. Although one of them probably means Before Christ (or an abbreviation of Before the Common Era), but we aren't in history class. Excuse me, Social Studies.



srsly guys, like wtf.


On a bikely related note, I finally got a Bike Barn water bottle, so I now have bottles from both of my local bike shops. The slush and snow that I drove through with said bike on the back of my car for 5 hours has completely frozen my chain stiff, and the g/f wants to take the bikes to her parents' house for the weekend. I'm thinking of taking my freshly finished Schwinn.

Which brings me to my freshly finished Schwinn World Tourist. Got the bike because the "Schwinn X-tra lite tubing" decal and the fact that it only weighed about 32 lbs with steel rims made me thing cromoly. Apparently not. In looking through Schwinn catalogues, I realized that it's either an '81 or '82 (the only two years with this color, fenders, and no FFS system). According to the literature, it's 1020 carbon steel. I.E. gaspipe. Ironically, it's still lighter than my tigged Tange Univega. Ironic? Regardless, it's painted (badly), and is now sitting in the kitchen while the shellac on the bar paper (you read right) dries.

Pictures are coming. Suffice to say that it's gone from a 5 speed to a 12 speed with drop bars. It can also tell all the other bikes on the rack that it's campagnolo equipped, since I jacked the DT shifters from the Raleigh, as that sorry sack isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Can also say that it's Shimano equipped, incidentally.

http://www.momentumplanet.com/features/my-dream-bike-city

Holy crap.

Anyone in the cycling community feel like buying this bad boy for me? mmmm....


I think as for me, to be the "ultimate city bike" I'd keep the 650b tires, but go with the Grand Bois Hetre tires (50mm) in red, steel frame, 8 speed IGH, dynamo lighting front and back, Randonneur style rack on the back, flat rack up front (with integrated lighting, of course), and fenders just like on the bike above. Someday maybe I'll be able to afford a custom built Shamrock Cycle like that...

Bent crank, new sports car, and coaster brakes, yippee!

Well, Last Monday, I made the g/f a new bike - a Schwinn Le Tour Mixte. Bright. fricking. yellow. But, it's comfy, reliable, and pretty quick. Plus with steel rims and a bulletproof drivetrain I've thrown on a couple bikes so far, I won't have to worry about her when she goes out for a ride. She's been riding the Raleigh Sports - it'll be fun to see her face when she can cruise faster than 10 mph :) So now she's got the Cadillac (her Sports) and her MG (Le Tour)

Relatedly (is that even a word?) every time I ride her Sports, it drives me INSANE because one of the cranks is bent. I just tried to straighten it at the local car garage (as my tools are at my house 80 miles away) and it didn't seem to be doing anything. I doubt it's the bottom bracket, as the other crank doesn't do anything, but who knows?

Final bike-related tidbit - I stripped down the Pug and put 32-590 coaster rims on it. I LOVE it! It's quick enough to keep up with traffic (52X19 gearing), but is torquey enough to go up hills with abandon, and I don't need brake levers! It's really clean looking. I"m really tempted to get a pair of 650b rims built up around a Bendix kick-back to throw some wide shoes on.

So, on to more serious stuff - Monday, before I went to the co-op, I was walking down an alley and I saw, spray painted on the wall, "This world is shit." Now, I've seen this before, but it truly made me think this time around - is this world all that bad? I mean, I look at the wars going on, the hunger and poverty, and the idiocy that has been running the US government for years on end now, and I think to myself that, yeah, there are quite a few things that could be fixed about the world as I see it, but to call it shit? I don't know about that. Any world where you can walk or bike down a country lane and see all the leaves changing colors, and listen to the shushing of leaves under your feet? Not such a terrible place.

It kinda reminds me of that scene in Good Morning, Vietnam (I think) where they're showing all the destruction, fires, and death, while Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" is playing, covering up all the sounds of mayhem that one might have been able to otherwise hear. Powerful stuff. In my humble opinion, a world that brought us Brother Iz, Mark Twain, hot cider on a cool fall day, Louis Armstrong, and love cannot be, as one says, "shit."

In school, we're getting ready to start Holocaust stuff in 8th and 10th grade (because, apparently, everyone needs to be so utterly inundated with Holocaust stuff that they don't know US history), and we're getting into Macbeth in senior lit. Frankly, I'm about ready to wet myself over Macbeth, but as far as Anne Frank and Night? Meh. Is it important to know about the Holocaust? Yeah, but honestly, shouldn't students be worried more about modern atrocities? You know, something that someone can stop? I was thinking the other day, if a kid, in 1944, faked his birth certificate and got into the army at the age of 16, he'd now be 81 years old. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't WWII vets still alive (heck, I just read in Men's Health that Britain's last surviving WWI vet just died at 111 years old), but at this point, there doesn't seem to be anything that one can do to change the past. We can change the future which is my goal as a teacher. I mean, think about it. For better or worse, every student is going to change the world that he or she lives in. Someone was Bill Gates' math teacher. Someone taught Shakespeare iambic pentameter, and taught Van Gogh culinary skills (boo...bad joke). But seriously, why not me? The way I see it, if I can have just one student make something of themselves like those individuals, I'd be doing better than the billions of other teachers that came before me and that are teaching now.